


i'm strong when i'm broken

by AnneKatherine



Series: shattered [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Depression, F/M, Female Tony, Female Tony Stark, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 09:19:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18825748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneKatherine/pseuds/AnneKatherine
Summary: “At least we did it together, right?” She murmured, but she saw the look on his face and knew he’d heard her, “Together. Except the people who got killed.”hell hath no fury.





	i'm strong when i'm broken

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Balletgrl046!

Toni stares at the thin layer of dust coating her hands in disbelief. It blows away in the wind after a moment, so she starts digging into the small pile of dust clumped on the ground. It wasn’t long till she cracked her nails, and the tips of her fingers started to bleed. She could feel the presence of another behind her, watching. She ignored them.

“Teran.” They said, it’s voice was robotic and emotionless. She envied their placidity. 

“Leave.” She said back, she didn’t think her whisper would carry in the wind, but they responded, “The wizard was very clear in emphasizing how it important it was you stayed alive, so I cannot.”

She whipped her head around, the blue alien seemed annoyed, she struggled to her feet, “Does it matter what he thinks anymore? He blew away in the fucking wind.”

“He said it was the only way.” She held her hand out, “We have no other options, now come with me.”

Toni would have stayed with Peter if she didn’t think the alien would forcibly take her. So she trudged miserably behind her till they arrived at the ship and boarded in silence.

It was weeks till she worked up the courage to make her first recording, and it wasn’t for the person she really wanted to talk to. Pepper was a safe bet. Caring, non judgmental. She could confess her sins, and she had no grievances against the woman, her best friend.

“Pep.” She started, “I’m all alone now. Not really, but you know what I mean.”

She paused as if waiting for a response, “I lost someone. Again. Didn’t think I could take it again, but here I am. Still standing no matter how much I wish I wasn’t.”

The blue alien, Nebula, told her they’d survive for about a month before the food runs out, followed by oxygen. She grimly nodded, and a small part of her longed for the end. 

It would be quiet, which is more than she’d ever hoped for. Sad maybe, but most deaths are.

Would they remember her? Or just her greatest failure? Her greatest loss.

It was another week before she finally talked to Steve, or at least left something for him to find besides her cold dead body.

She was inches away from hitting record, when a wash of gold light filtered across her hand and the armor. She lifted her hands to her face, before she found the source of the light.

A woman. A flaming woman. 

The ride home was smooth and relaxing, Danvers was a good driver.

She set them down outside the compound, and she almost didn’t believe she was home because she’d dreamed this so many times.

She was weak, and hurt. She grimaced at the faces of her friends when they saw her. She felt smaller than ever before.

Being restricted to the wheelchair was worse, but it provided a nice place to rest her head on her hands, while she listened to the Avengers argue back and forth.

“Toni,” she heard him say, it was the first time he’d spoken to her since she got back, she almost let herself respond. “Toni.” He repeated, agitated.

She slowly turned her head away from the window she’s been staring out, and made eye contact with him. “You fought Thanos, did he give you can't clue as to his plan for after the snap? Did you find any coordinates while you were stranded?”

“I was a little preoccupied.” She said, her lip curving into a smile, “Starving and injured.”

“Of course.” Steve said, impatiently, “But you didn’t notice any details that might indicate where-”

“No.” She said, heaving herself up to stand, ripping the IV out of her hand, “I don’t have any coordinates for you. I didn’t collect anything, or note anything. I failed.”

“We all did.” Steve said.

“At least we did it together, right?” She murmured, but she saw the look on his face and knew he’d heard her, “Together. Except the people who got killed.”

“That’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is that years ago I had a plan. To protect us. A plan that would’ve come in pretty damn handy.”

“I know you lost a lot Toni.” He replies, she’s stepped closer and closer to him, half attempting to be threatening despite her height, and half because she can feel the world slowly slipping out from under her and despite their past she knows he’ll at least catch her.

“You don’t know a damn thing about what I lost.” She spat, “You don’t know what it was like to have a terrorist pointing a pistol at your head yelling, ‘This is for Captain America. Long live the revolution, let the Accords die!’ after he crashed his car into your, killing-”

She couldn’t finish, she didn’t want to. 

“What is she talking about Steve?” Natasha said, from her desk. Toni barely noticed the others were still there, she didn’t think of the consequences of her words, she just wanted to cut him.

He ignored her, stepping closer to Toni, “What do you mean? You said-you said they didn’t-”

She fell suddenly, her knees hurt from the force of her fall. Steve gripped her arms to steady her, and she managed to send him a smirk before all the lights went out.

His face was beautiful as usual, shaven, and perfect. Just the way she remembered the pictures on Howard’s desk.

The flawless soldier. What Toni could never be despite how hard she tried. She was broken. But maybe being broken made her strong.


End file.
